One month old today!

Someone once told me that when it comes to kids that the days are long, but the weeks, months and years are short. They weren't kidding! I can't believe she is a month old already!

My little miracle...

The valuable lesson an iPhone taught me

When we were engaged, S had a work phone that he HATED, but it was free, since it was through work.  He really, really wanted an iPhone...I had one, he was jealous, and he wanted one.  When we were together, S would scroll through the apps and talk about how much he wanted one, one day.

One night, S got more serious.  He started sounding like he was really ready to make a move and go buy one.  We talked it out, and I thought I had convinced him that it would be silly to spend money on a phone when he has a free one through work.  After a few minutes, he said, "OK, we can be done talking about this...", and I felt satisfied that I had convinced him of my argument. 

Flash forward to the following day when I went to go visit him at work.  I asked him a question, and he said, "I don't know the answer to that, let me look it up on my fancy new iPhone", and whipped it off of his belt clip (another issue for another day!) to look it up.  I was shocked!  What happened?  I started arguing with him, and said, "I thought we decided you weren't going to get an iPhone, and here it is less than 12 hours later, and you got one!"  To which he responded, "No, what I SAID was that we were done TALKING about it.  I already knew I was going to get one and didn't see the point in continuing to talk about it when my mind was already made up!"   

I was furious because it was long commitment, lots of money, etc...but I learned a valuable lesson about listening more carefully and picking my fights.  Did I really care about the extra money, or was I more worried about the larger issue of us learning how to make decisions together...or was I even more worried that he was a man with his own ability to make decisions and might not always listen to what I thought was clear logic?? 

As it turns out, it was the latter - and part of what I had to learn (am still learning) is that just because he doesn't "listen" to me, doesn't make it the wrong decision and also doesn't mean that he doesn't value my opinion or love me. It also doesn't mean that we are going to go broke, that he's irresponsible with money, or that we will be always fighting about money.  I am not in charge of him, just like he's not in charge of me.  We are both adults with incomes, and up until we got together, we were both able to make completely autonomous decisions about how to spend our money - now, we were going to have to learn how to compromise, how to give and take, and how to let one another have some latitude to do the things they wanted to do with the money they earned and not let it impact our relationship negatively. 

It meant that we were two adults with different opinions, and that sometimes, it's alright to disagree. 

Sometimes. 

Happy Girl

Her belly is full, so she is a happy girl! Love that little smile!

Questions I Can't Answer

I remember being a small child, and thinking that my parents knew EVERYTHING.  I even remember trying to test the limits of their knowledge by asking them questions that I felt that they couldn't possibly know the answer to, and still, they always knew.  It was very comforting, and awe inspiring. 

There are times that I still call my dad for advice or information - I just did it last week.  An alert came on in our new car, and S was out of town, training for his new job, and my first thought was "Dad will know".  Sure enough, I called him - he knew.  He actually had several suggestions of how to fix the problem - that's how smart he is about things! 

Fast forward to three weeks ago, when S and I became parents, and it struck me:  Diana is going to look at US the same way!  What??   That can't be right!  We are morons!  (Alright, I'll speak for myself...I am a moron, S is pretty darn smart about most things.) 

Right now, it's pretty simple because her needs are simple.  If she's crying or fussy, there's only one of a few things wrong:  she's hungry, wet or dirty, wants to be held or tired.  I can totally wrap my brain around that.  Four things.  

What I am worried about are the harder questions that will inevitably come.  Not the "where do babies come from?" kind of questions - although, that is sure to be an awkward conversation for both of us.  I am more worried about the questions that I still don't know the answers to, even though I am 36 years old, questions I don't know if I would know the answers to if I lived to be 136, questions like "why does God let bad things happen to good people?"  or "why are some people so mean?"  or "what happens when we die?" or "why does anyone watch the stupid Kardashian shows?"

Honestly, those are questions that I would like the answer to, as well.  I just don't feel like the right response is "I have no idea, kid.  Let me know if you find someone that has the answer to that."  I guess I have some time to think up creative answers to those kinds of questions, considering that she can't even talk yet...but all of the sudden, it seems like I need to shape up, grow up and learn more, quickly.

Anyone else ever feel like that?? 

Diana Dawn is here - and she's growing up so fast, already!

Diana Dawn is finally here! She arrived on Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 1:19PM, via c-section at Brookwood Hospital in Homewood, Alabama. She weighed in at 9 pounds, 7 ounces, and measured at 22 inches long - and came out with a full head of gorgeous dark brown hair. I know I am biased, but Diana really is the most beautiful baby ever born.

It's been hectic, to say the least, since her arrival - which won't surprise anyone that has ever had a baby. She is a champion sleeper - when she sleeps, she sleeps hard, which is actually something I prayed for since my side of the family is riddled with insomniacs and light sleepers. She takes after her Daddy, in that regard...thank goodness! Her favorite spot to sleep is always in someone's arms, or right up against Mommy's neck (which I am not complaining about - it's heaven!).
I had my heart set on breastfeeding Diana, but after some serious effort and serious frustrations on both of our parts, it turns out that the best system for us is for me to pump, and for her to take a bottle...and for us to supplement with a little formula when she gets hungrier than I can keep up with. I worried a lot about what other people were going to think of the fact that I am not doing traditional breastfeeding, but as Steven reminded me more than once, we had to do what was right for our family and she is still getting the nutritional and health benefits of my breast milk with the method we have adopted. She lost a lot of weight while she was in the hospital, but now, with our new system, she's back up to 9 pounds, 8 ounces as of our pediatrician's appointment on Wednesday. What a relief!
Someone told me once that when you have a child that the "days are long, but the weeks fly by." That has certainly proven to be truer than I ever could have anticipated. I can't believe it's already been over two weeks since she was born! The days just get away from us so fast - between feeding her, pumping, changing, rocking, trying to sleep myself, etc., they are long days, but they are clipping by so quickly. I have been so lucky to have a great deal of help - whether it was my incredible mother-in-law, who came to stay while S was out of town training for a few days for his new job, or friends that came with meals, or to clean, or ran to the store to pick up the things we needed, I have only had to ask, and whatever I have needed is taken care of.I am sort of obsessed with taking pictures and videos of Diana. I love every new facial expression, sweet noise, and movement. I love how she looks when she sleeps. I love the sighs of contentment she makes after she has a full belly. I love the way she flails her arms wide when I lay her down to change her, as if to say "Wait! Hug me first!" I love how she's already learning how to focus on her mobile that hangs above her bassinet. I've become one of "those people" that documents everything (and I am trying very hard not to post every picture because I know that everyone is not as obsessed with my kid as I am!). Every single thing she does seems to be photo or video worthy - especially because she is growing and changing so much already.Today, I realized that she is growing up already. I went to put a diaper on her, and it just didn't quite fit. I thought maybe it was just because she was laying on it, or I hadn't arranged it properly. However, after a great deal of finagling, it finally occurred to me: she's outgrown the newborn size! How do I have a daughter that is already outgrowing anything? She just got her. Later today, I noticed that she was getting increasingly frustrated when I was feeding her at how slowly the milk was coming out of the bottle, when it finally occurred to me: she is ready for the next stage of bottle! Two things in one day!? I am not ready for this!

What a difference a year makes

Us - August 26, 2012

Today is our one year wedding anniversary - and tomorrow, we go to the hospital to have our first baby! What a difference a year makes...at this time last year, I was counting down the hours until I could walk down the aisle to the man that had promised to spend every day trying to find ways to make me happy. Today, I am counting down the hours until "we" become a "three".

Us - August 27, 2011

To my dear husband: Quite simply, thank you for making all of my dreams come true. You have erased all of the tears and heartaches on the very bumpy road that brought us together. God was truly showing off when He made you - and you have set the bar extraordinarily high by the example you set of how a man should love a woman. Thank you for choosing me, for sweeping me off of my feet, and for loving me more than I ever thought it was possible to be loved. Thank you for following through on your promise to find ways to make me happy every day - and thank you for letting me love you in my clumsy, over-the-top, fumbling way, for bearing with me while I adjusted to life as a married...and then, pregnant woman..., and for accepting me, just as I am. Thank you for taking care of me, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I love you to the moon and back....TTBFE, Jeannine Michele

Our friend Kristi came over yesterday and took these photos of us, so we would have evidence of how things were "before baby".

Why I need YOUR help supporting Komen's Race for the Cure this year

I am a proud Board member for the North Central Alabama chapter of Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Why do I support Komen? For one reason: I do it in memory of my late mother.

(Mom's last Christmas - December 1999)

My mother, Diane Jenkins Jersey, was the best woman I have ever had the honor of knowing, and it would mean more than anything to have her alive today. I am preparing to become a mother for the first time myself, and her presence is the single thing I want more than anything. Unfortunately, she passed away from breast cancer 12 years ago, at the age of 50.

If you had known my mom, you would know that she wanted nothing more than to raise her children and see them become parents…and then, spoil her grandchildren completely rotten. I hate the fact that she missed on the chance to live long enough to experience that joy, especially now that the arrival of this little one is imminent.

(Mom and me - April 1976)

My mom was first diagnosed when I was a senior in high school, and battled bravely and valiantly while my brother, a junior named Kevin, and my sister, a middle schooler named Jessica, went about trying to live our lives as normally as possible. She tried to keep the true extent of her illness from us, wanting us to be shielded from the side effects of the chemotherapy she was taking, and if we ever expressed concern for her, she valiantly deflected it or assured us that she was in good hands, that my dad was taking good care of her, that the doctors and nurses were providing excellent care, that her friends were supporting her, and that God was comforting her.

Just in time for my high school graduation, my mom finished her treatments, and at my graduation party, she bravely debuted her new shorter haircut, going without her wig for the first time, in public. I had never been more proud or more impressed by her strength.

(Mom and me - circa Summer 1995 or 1996)

She was in remission for about 6 years after that. My brother and I both graduated high school,
and went off to different colleges. My sister began her high school journey, and with each passing year, we settled into a more confident security of Mom’s future health. Mom and Dad started planning for retirement, and even bought a home down at the beach so that they could start making the transition. Mom had a renewed spirit, and spent the next years active in her church, volunteering and having adventures (she even went parasailing!).

Around the time of my college graduation in December of ’99, Mom started to make comments about shoulder pains and not feeling 100%. She thought it was just the effects of turning 50 that month, and assured us that she would tell her doctors about it if it got worse. She continued to be active in her church and with various support groups, and even helped to organize fundraising events – all the while, her cancer was back…and we didn’t know yet.

(Mom and me at college graduation - December 1999)

One of the things that haunts me is that I vividly remember my mom saying when she was diagnosed in 1993 was that all she ever really wanted was to see her kids graduate from high school, that anything over that would be a bonus. My sister graduated from high school at the end of May of 2000, and within three weeks, on Father’s Day, my mother was so jaundiced that she had to be hospitalized. She never came home, and our family has never been the same.

Diane Jenkins Jersey passed away on July 11, 2000 from cancer that had metastasized basically everywhere: her liver, pancreas, brain, and bones. By the time she was hospitalized, it was too late to treat her any further, and we had to say goodbye to the best woman I have ever known.

Even 12 years later, I miss my mother with a fierceness that I never thought possible. I literally
feel like a part of me is missing. Especially now, as I am preparing to make the journey of motherhood myself, there are times each day that I reach for the phone to call her and ask her a question or share a fun update with her. Heaven may have gained an angel that day, but the world is worse off without her here.

Quite simply, through the money raised by Susan G. Komen for the Cure, more moms, sisters, daughters, friends, wives, co-workers, neighbors, and aunts will get to live to see another day. Every woman deserves that chance.

So, why do I support Komen? So that no other son or daughter has to lose their mother. So that no other husband has to watch his high school sweetheart slip away. So that no other sister has to say goodbye to her favorite sibling. So that no other friend has to be deprived of the companionship of an incredible woman. So that no other grandchild has to grow up hearing stories of how Grandma was when she was alive, but instead gets to know the loving embrace of her arms.

This year, I will not be able to walk or run in the actual Race for the Cure here in Birmingham, but I will be participating in fundraising. Please consider making a donation at: http://ncalabama.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/BHM_NorthCentralAlabamaAffiliate?px=10731303&pg=personal&fr_id=2660

Every dollar counts.