Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Questions I Can't Answer

I remember being a small child, and thinking that my parents knew EVERYTHING.  I even remember trying to test the limits of their knowledge by asking them questions that I felt that they couldn't possibly know the answer to, and still, they always knew.  It was very comforting, and awe inspiring. 

There are times that I still call my dad for advice or information - I just did it last week.  An alert came on in our new car, and S was out of town, training for his new job, and my first thought was "Dad will know".  Sure enough, I called him - he knew.  He actually had several suggestions of how to fix the problem - that's how smart he is about things! 

Fast forward to three weeks ago, when S and I became parents, and it struck me:  Diana is going to look at US the same way!  What??   That can't be right!  We are morons!  (Alright, I'll speak for myself...I am a moron, S is pretty darn smart about most things.) 

Right now, it's pretty simple because her needs are simple.  If she's crying or fussy, there's only one of a few things wrong:  she's hungry, wet or dirty, wants to be held or tired.  I can totally wrap my brain around that.  Four things.  

What I am worried about are the harder questions that will inevitably come.  Not the "where do babies come from?" kind of questions - although, that is sure to be an awkward conversation for both of us.  I am more worried about the questions that I still don't know the answers to, even though I am 36 years old, questions I don't know if I would know the answers to if I lived to be 136, questions like "why does God let bad things happen to good people?"  or "why are some people so mean?"  or "what happens when we die?" or "why does anyone watch the stupid Kardashian shows?"

Honestly, those are questions that I would like the answer to, as well.  I just don't feel like the right response is "I have no idea, kid.  Let me know if you find someone that has the answer to that."  I guess I have some time to think up creative answers to those kinds of questions, considering that she can't even talk yet...but all of the sudden, it seems like I need to shape up, grow up and learn more, quickly.

Anyone else ever feel like that?? 

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