Saturday Song: I Choose by India.Arie

My friend Alison introduced this song to me as an anthem for the days I need a little spiritual pick-me-up.  It's a great song for reminding me that I am in charge of my reaction to life - I may not be able to control my circumstances, but I can most certainly control my reaction to them and the attitude I bring to each day.   I am not defined by my past, and I can CHOOSE to move forward any time I want!

"I Choose"

Because you never know where life is gonna take you
and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 1:]
Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.(Yeah)
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose. (Yeah)

[Verse 2:]
I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

[Verse 3:]
From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man. (NO!)
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown,
"from this day forward, every decision I make will be my own." And hey!

[Chorus:]
(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be courageous in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

(And I choose) to be the best that I can be.
(I choose) to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

[Bridge:]
Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose. (Hey ey)
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

Saturday Song: Think Good Thoughts

Driving home today, this song came up on my "shuffle", and I listened to the words more carefully than I usually do.  Anybody else ever think that God talks to them through the radio?  This is my theme song for the week! 

Colbie Caillat - "Think Good Thoughts"

I'm just gonna say it
There's no use in delaying
I'm tired of the angry hanging out inside me
So I'll quiet down the devil
I'm gonna knock him with a shovel
And I'll bury all my trouble underneath the revel
When I'm alone in a dark, dark room I have to tell myself to

Think good thoughts, think good thoughts
Imagine what the world would be if we will, we just
Think good thoughts, stop the bad from feeding
Oh won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me
That's how I want to be

Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na (x2)

I'm not saying that it's easy
Especially when I'm moody
I might be cursing like a sailor
Til I remind myself I'm better
Cos words can be like weapons
Oh when you use them you will get them
Oh oh but I'm not gonna let them take away my heaven
And when I start feeling blue I remember to tell myself to

Whoa whoa whoa
Think good thoughts, think good thoughts
Imagine what the world would be if we will, we just
Think good thoughts, stop the bad from feeding
Oh won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me
That's how I want to be

I just think of rain on summer nights
Stars filling up the sky
Sun shining on my face
Making a secret wish
Finding my happiness
That always makes me hold my head up high
I wanna hold my head up high

Oh I wanna think good thoughts
Oh imagine what the world would be if we will, we just
(Think good thoughts)
Wouldn't that be something
Oh won't let the negativity turn me into my enemy
Promise to myself that I won't let it get the best of me
That's how I want to be

Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na (x6)

Are the seeds worth planting?

We never know the impact we have in someone's life - and sometimes, despite our best efforts to stay in touch or to help someone, we lose touch or they fade away.

In the past six weeks, I have had several people contact me via Facebook or text that I hadn't heard from in AGES - and it did my heart a lot of good. It encouraged me to continue to try...no matter how it appears to be received at the time. Sometimes, the seeds we plant will take years before they bear fruit, but that doesn't mean that they weren't worth planting.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Jon Acuff wrote in his blog yesterday about an experience he had recently where he had been on the receiving end of this kind of effort.

Loving the unlovable.

Sometimes the hardest part of loving people is that you don’t always get to hear the whole song.

You reach out. In a time of need or hurt or maybe even hope.

And you get pushed away.

You get chased away.

You get shoved away.

And you wait and you help and you stand in the storms of life with someone, and you feel like you are throwing a ball against a wall. You can’t tell if any of it matters. If your words or your actions matter at all. You think about giving up. You feel called to be salt and light, we know that’s printed in red, but sometimes in the space between hours and arguments, it’s hard to feel that way.

You keep loving. You keep hoping to see a change, not because it’s all about change, but because that would at least be a crack of light under the door.

But the light never comes. The door is never opened, even a little, and then they disappear. Not dramatically, maybe. They don’t float away on a hot air balloon or in a fast car. The ebb and flow of life just drifts them away. You feel you’ve wasted your time or maybe their time or everybody’s time.

They were so eager to blow things up. So eager to sink their own ship with bad, easy-to-spot decisions. The bridge was out ahead. You saw that a mile away, but they ignored you and kept driving. So unwilling to stop the car until it had hurtled deep into the valley of regret.

You forget about them. Or, mostly, you forget. A year gets stacked on another year and stacked on another year, until that person becomes one more person you reached out to who didn’t reach back. One more person you helped who ignored your help.

That’s the hard part about loving someone. Sometimes we don’t get to hear the whole song. We get to be a verse or a single lyric in someone’s journey, but the song doesn’t resolve. We watch relationships fade into the horizon, not really knowing if we’ve made a difference.

But sometimes, in moments that are so comical you can’t help but laugh, God plays the last note right in front of you.

That’s what happened to me three weeks ago.

I was a mess in college. There’s no need to dress it up with stories or adjectives. I was a mess. And in the midst of that, a guy named Dave Waller reached out to me. With no agenda, and at no benefit to him, he was kind to me. Time and time again as a student minister, he reached out to me at Samford University. And then I disappeared back to Boston and never saw him again.

That was 14 years ago.

Three weeks ago, I spoke at the Orange Conference. When I walked off stage, someone said, “There’s a guy at the edge of the crowd that wants to say ‘hi’ to you.” I walked into the dark of the room, passed the soundboard, and against the security barrier…

…there stood Dave Waller.

He laughed. We hugged. (I did a much better job with that hug than I did with my on-stage Reggie hug.) We caught up for a few minutes and exchanged phone numbers.

That night, Dave texted me. Here is what he said:

“Hey Jon. It’s Dave Waller. I’m so proud of you. All I think about was the last time we went to lunch, and you were so hurt. And frustrated with life. To see you now is awesome.”

I don’t know who the Jon Acuffs are in your life right now.

I don’t know who you are reaching out to that is just a jerk right now.

I don’t know who seems oblivious to your kindness right now.

I don’t know how you are helping someone who seems blind to your help right now.

But I do know what I’d say to you right now:

Don’t stop.

Don’t give up on people who have given up on themselves.

Don’t quit just because it seems hopeless.

Fourteen years ago, Dave Waller didn’t. In the last lunch we ever had, I walked in a mess and left a mess. Dave had better things to do. Things that would have shown more immediate results or progress or improvement. He could have given up, because it’s not easy. Sometimes we don’t get to hear the whole song.

But sometimes we do and, in dark arenas in unexpected moments spanning a decade, God reminds us why you and I have got to keep singing.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, my $.02? It's worth it to plant the seeds, start the song, begin the dance, make the effort... Who knows how things will turn out? The only thing we know for sure is that if you DON'T do it, nothing will happen. If you DO, there's a chance...and that makes it worth it, every time.