Back in the saddle

It has been way too long since I have taken the time to sit down and write.

For the past few months, there have been reminders of what I posted "on this day" from Facebook, and it brought back memories of events or moments that I had forgotten about completely. It started tugging at my mind that I needed to make the time to get back in the habit of sitting down to write from time to time. When I take the time to sit and write, I always have gained perspective on whatever has happened and always benefit from taking the time to pause and reflect.

Today, the sermon at church was about the magic that happened when the stone rolled away on Easter to reveal that Jesus wasn't in the tomb anymore and about how we need to let God roll away whatever "stone" is in our way and keeping us from being the person we want to be. One of the things our pastor admitted to struggling with was being in a hurry and not wanting to take the time to stop and reflect. It was like he was reading my mind - I can absolutely relate to that.

So, tonight, after a very lovely afternoon with family when S suggested taking Diana to a movie, I asked him to do that solo so I could have some time to myself.

There's this weird trick that my mind will play on me to keep me from doing something I enjoy - maybe you can relate. It tells me that I don't have time to do it perfectly, so I shouldn't do it at all. If I am not able to commit to writing again on a daily basis, then, my mind tells me that there's just no point in starting again at all. So, a week goes by. Then, a month. Then, because time has passed, I start to tell myself that the next thing I write better be extra significant to make up for the time that has passed. Then, a year passes, and before I know it, it's been two and a half years, and I have squandered all of the opportunities to capture those day to day moments that I have been enjoying revisiting.

This isn't a new phenomenon - I even wrote about it back in 2012 (http://jeanninejersey.blogspot.com/2012/05/its-allor-its-nothing.html). And it doesn't just apply to writing. As I said in that previous post, it's all or nothing with me with pretty much everything, but that isn't going to work anymore. I need to shift my mindset back to doing the best I can with the time and energy I have for the day and ask God to roll away the stones that get in my way.

So, tonight, I am basically breaking the silence. I don't know how regularly I can commit to writing, but the beauty of it is, that no one else is actually asking me to commit to anything! The pressure to do something perfectly or every single day is all self-generated, so if I can extend myself a little grace and take the pressure off, I think I will like being "allowed" to write here again.

Today was a day I want to remember. The sermon and music at the Easter service at church spoke to my heart. The weather was absolutely lovely. S and I took Diana up to Blountsville to spend time with his family, ate a fantastic lunch, and then, Diana got to swim in Nana and Big Daddy's pool. As you can see, she had a blast! When I look back in my memories from this day, I am going to be glad I took the time today to let God roll my stone away and help me to get back in the saddle.

First swim of the year!

Life is good!

How I embarrassed myself at church last night

Last night, I went to a meeting at my church, and when I was leaving, I stopped in the parking lot to talk to my friend Meredith for a few minutes.  After a much needed catch-up session, we quickly said goodbye and rushed to our cars to get out of the cold.

As I was getting into my car, I intended to let out a sigh - a sound of contentment and happiness.  I was feeling good because I had just spent some time with good people, and when I am alone, when I am happy, I often let out big sighs or make big noises like the Carol Burnett "Tarzan Yell".

(If you've never tried it, I dare you to do it and tell me it doesn't feel good!  I used to watch The Carol Burnett Show with my mom, and always loved it when someone would ask Carol to do the Tarzan Yell because it gave me a chance to test mine out, as well, as I played along at home.)

Well, I guess that, as a new mom, I have transitioned from sighs and Tarzan Yells to making raspberry noises that sound something like this:

So, I let out a sigh/raspberry - for a good 20-30 seconds.  It felt AWESOME, and I smiled as I finished.  I got into my car, and as I was looking left to reach for my seat belt, I saw a guy in the truck next to me staring at me with disgust on his face, and slowly back his truck away.  At first ,I could not figure out why he was so weirded out by my raspberry noise.  I know it's a little weird, but it's certainly not disgusting.  Then, it hit me:

The guy thinks I farted!  This random church guy thinks I farted for a good 20-30 seconds, and then, got into my car, smiling to myself about it!  Oh NO!  I tried to lower my window to tell him it wasn't what he thought, but it was too late.  He was gone.

I've never seen that guy before; he wasn't in the meeting I attended, and honestly, now, I couldn't pick him out of a two person line up.  It was dark, and he was wearing a baseball hat.  So, there is no way for me to track him down and clarify what really happened.  Now, I just have to live with the fact that out there, somewhere, there's a guy who thinks some lady at church let one rip in the parking lot. 

If you are him, by some incredible chance, please know that I am not that kind of person, and if you heard a guy telling a story about that happening, please set him straight! 

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Am I the only one that has things like this happen to them?  Have any fun stories to share??