The night I forgot the words to the Star Spangled Banner

Facebook reminded me this morning that nine years ago today, I had one of the most embarrassing nights of my life. However, in the years since, it has turned out to be one of my favorite stories to tell. It's funny how time changes our perspective life that.


When I lived in Connecticut, Damon Scott, the afternoon personality on the radio station I worked for, also worked for the local AHL team, the Hartford Wolfpack. He was the guy that went out on the ice between periods to get the crowd to play games or ran around the stands giving away prizes. Every so often, I would join him or fill in for him if he had a conflict - the team even made me my own special jersey.

One day, while waiting to go out on the ice, it came up in conversation that one time, I had sung the National Anthem for the local WNBA team, the Connecticut Suns.



I told them if they ever ended up in a pinch without someone to sing, I would be glad to help out. They said they would call if they did, but I honestly thought it was never going to happen. 

So, on the afternoon of October 29, 2008, we got a call at the station that someone had backed out for that night, and they asked if I could cover. I was nervous, but I agreed to sing that night. I hustled down to the Civic Center, arriving just in time to go out for the anthem.


They laid out a red carpet on the ice for me to walk on, and handed me a microphone. The lights dimmed and the announcer said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem. Tonight, it will be sung by 96.5 TIC's Jeannine Jersey". I walked out, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and started singing.


"Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light...."


I remember thinking, "This isn't so bad. I was nervous for nothing," and then, I opened my eyes.


"What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming..."


I looked around the arena as I sang, and saw the men with their hats in their hands, the children with their hands over their hearts, and felt proud to be asked to be part of this great tradition.


"Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight..."


Then, I looked up at the Jumbotron, and caught a glimpse of myself on the big screen - and something felt really wrong. My lips seemed out of sync for what I was singing. (I know now that the video just had a slight delay, but in real time, I didn't understand what I was seeing.)


"O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming..."


And I froze. I was so thrown off by what I saw on the Jumbotron that I completely lost my place in the song, a song that I had sung hundreds of times before. I paused, hoping it would come back to me - and there was NOTHING. My hand holding the microphone dropped to my side.


The silence was deafening. My face turned red. I felt lightheaded, like I was going to pass out from embarrassment. My eyes started to burn with tears about to fall. I had frozen in front of all of those people, and had no idea what to do.


Then, behind me, I heard one of the guys that worked for the Wolfpack, started to sing at the top of lungs. "And the rockets red glare...."


The people sitting in the section next to where he was standing joined in and started singing too: "The bombs bursting in air..."


And soon, the whole arena was singing, "Gave proof through the night, that our flag was still there...."


I laughed, looked at my friend with gratitude, picked up the mic, and joined in. "Oh, say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave...O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave..."


The crowd cheered, laughed and clapped as I gave a small wave and scurried off the red carpet and back into the dark recesses of the arena under the stands.


I was mortified - more embarrassed than I could ever remember being in my entire life, but was already laughing at what had just happened. I remember thinking, "If I don't find a way for this to be funny, I am never going to get over it."


So, I started looking for the humor in the situation, and for the lessons I could take away from the experience. Here's what I learned:
1. You can't actually die from embarrassment. Sure, that moment was awful - but I survived it and many other embarrassing moments since.
2. Sometimes, one voice in the silence can make all the difference. My friend saw that I was in trouble and put his own pride aside to help me. I'll never forget his kindness.
3. Help is contagious. When others heard him, they joined in, and together, we got through it.
4. I have a choice - when I make a big mistake, I can let it define me and wallow or I can find the humor in it or lessons from it, and move forward, stronger.


Just last week, I was sharing this story with some co-workers and a woman that was in our office interviewing for a job. We were all laughing because, let's face it, it's kind of hilarious. I love sharing this story now, and I am glad that time has given me the perspective to see how funny it really is!

Meditation Fail

A few weeks ago, I got a personal email from Oprah (we are totally BFF's) inviting me to be a part of her 21 Day Meditation Challenge.  It's a 3 week course with Deepak Chopra, where Oprah and I are going to better learn how to make meditation a part of our daily lives and how to deepen our ability to clear the mind.

I failed on Day 1.

On Monday, I noticed an opportune moment to go meditate - Diana was quietly playing on the floor with some blocks, she had been fed and changed and seemed content.  S was finished with his work day and was watching TV.   So, I told him that I was going into our room for about 15 minutes to meditate. 

He smirked, "Meditate? Really?"

My response:  "Shut up!  I need to get some serenity."  (Probably not the best way to begin...)

I carried my laptop into the bedroom, settled into a comfortable chair, and settled in to listen to my good friend Oprah teach me how to meditate.  After a brief introduction, Oprah turned things over to Deepak, who instructed me to close my eyes and focus on his words and a certain mantra.  He said to come back to that mantra whenever my mind wandered....

Which was basically the ENTIRE time I was attempting to meditate.  My little brain went into OVERDRIVE the minute he said to clear my mind and start focusing on my breath. 

"Do I need to get more granola bars at the grocery store?"
"Did I remember to start the dryer?"
"Is it time to book our summer vacation?"
"I wonder how K's doctor's appointment went."
"Do the dogs need a bath?"
"Remember that time in high school...."

Like a ping pong ball being batted around by Forrest Gump, my brain jumped from topic to topic, all the while Deepak was trying to get me to center my thoughts on the mantra. 

After several minutes of trying to focus and breath, my thoughts did eventually start to slow down, and I actually did start to feel more serene. By the end of the 15 minute segment, I actually felt pretty relaxed.

About 30 seconds later, my husband walked into the bedroom, with a smile on his face, "How did it go?"  I reported my progress, and asked him why he had come in.  He said, "Diana is taking a nap now, so I think I am going to 'meditate' too", and then, went to lay down to take a short nap.  (Silly husband, napping and meditating are NOT the same thing...)

He invited me to lay down with him for a minute and snuggle (so sweet, right??), but when I went to try to get under the covers with him, they were all tangled.  Immediately, I started wrestling with them, kicking wildly, muttering swear words, and S burst out laughing.  "How's that meditating working out for you?"

Apparently, not so well.

Maybe I should try it for more than one day in a row - what do you think?  

Filling the silence with awkward statements

I have often made inappropriate comments when I feel socially awkward, just to fill the silence. It's ironic considering that I actually speak for a living and feel very comfortable speaking in front of lots of people, off the cuff.

It actually happens mostly in smaller social settings, and I don't even usually know I am doing it until after I am staring into the face of someone that I have just made really uncomfortable.  Usually, I am trying to be funny, hoping that humor will break the ice or make the other people in the room like me more.  (Pitiful, I know...but sometimes, it works for me...)

One of those moments happened when my husband and I had only been dating for a few months.  We went to a Christmas party of a coworker, and I wanted to be one of the "cool kids".  I made special cookies and brought them with me.  Apparently, in my haste to get out of the house, I hadn't noticed the glob of peanut butter that made its way into my hair.

To my horror, the errant glob of peanut butter lodged in my hair was one of the first things that the hostess noticed when I walked into the party.  It didn't help matters that I had carried in a plate of cookies that were in the shape of balls.  (I'll let you conjure your own inappropriate comment about that aspect of the evening.)   Instead of politely placing the cookies on the counter and excusing myself to the bathroom to address the glob situation, I loudly said to everyone in the room:

"It's not the worst thing I have ever had in my hair." 

I thought I was being funny!  Mission unaccomplished.  There was a big pause of awkward silence, until someone far more graceful than I am changed the subject, took the cookies from me and guided me into the kitchen to get a beverage.  S was horrified, and has repeatedly used that as an example of a how NOT to act when we are in a new social setting.

Today, I ended up in one of those awkward social situations again.

While I was in a ladies' locker room.

Mostly naked.

S bought me a fabulous spa day for Valentine's Day - massage, facial, and a mani/pedi! - and I was in the ladies' locker room changing into the spa's robe and putting my clothes and purse in a locker.  A woman approached a locker two doors down from mine.  We exchanged awkward smiles and then, she sighed.

Lady:  I have been here all day.

Me:  Lucky you.  I am just getting started with my day.  My husband got me this as a Valentine's Day present!

Lady:  Me too.

Me:  That's exciting!

Lady:  (rustling around in her locker, head buried looking for something) Yeah - I guess.  I think it's kind of weird.

Me:  What?  Why?  I have never had anything like this ever, and I am so excited.

Lady:  Well, we are in the middle of a divorce.

{giant awkward pause while she made extremely awkward eye contact}

Me:  At least it's a really nice parting gift? 

{She walked away.}

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Anyone else guilty of doing this?