Toilet Paper Love Note

I would assume that most women wouldn't be thrilled to find toilet paper on their bathroom sink.  Normally, I wouldn't either.  However, this morning, my husband used toilet paper to leave me an adorable love note, that I found when I got up at 4:30am to get ready for work.  What a sweet surprise!

Toilet paper as love note

It made my entire morning...my entire day, really...and it probably took him about 60 seconds, at most to write.  A simple gesture, a small investment in time, using the resources immediately available at his disposal, and bam! Instant love letter!

What a great lesson for me!

Recently, I have also had three random friends reach out to send me emails to say something nice.  All came on days when I was feeling kind of blah.  I don't see these two individuals very often, and they had no way of knowing that I was in need of some extra TLC.  Their emails weren't wordy or long; they were just a few quick sentences to say: that they were thinking of me, that they had a good memory that crossed their minds, that they loved seeing how my life as a new mother was developing, or that they noticed that I had done something I thought no one did. 

Bam!  Instant mood booster!

With our busy schedules, it's easy to let ourselves forget to follow through on the thoughts of "I should tell _____ that I was thinking about them today", or "I haven't seen _____ in a while, I wonder if she's okay", or "I thought of ______ today when I heard that song that reminded me of....."   I know that I am guilty of it, more than I care to admit.  I'll think of someone and then, let it pass. 

However, lately, I have been wondering if those sudden thoughts of random people might not be God's way of nudging me to reach out to that person.  Maybe they are having a blah day or going through a rough patch, and that quick email/call/text/card/smoke signal might be just the thing they need to hear.  Maybe not. The very worst thing that could happen would be that you have a positive interaction.  I don't know about you, but I can always use more of those. 

Grateful for Autocorrect Fails

Yesterday, I was with a group of friends, and one said it had been a while since she put pen to paper to do a gratitude list...and then, I remembered that *I* hadn't done one in a while.  It is certainly long overdue! 

One of my favorite things about taking time to stop and do a gratitude list is this:  the more I do it, the more things I find myself feeling grateful for.  It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy; thinking about the positive things in my life, brings more of them.  Even when events occur that may not seem like blessings, at first, if I am in the habit of practicing gratitude, I can usually find a silver lining in there, somewhere.

So, here goes!

Today, I am grateful for:
- Reliable day care/care givers - S and I both have busy jobs, and I can honestly say that I would be lost without the wonderful people that care for our daughter, Diana. 

- Friends that are willing to work at our friendship - everyone I know is busy, running in a million different directions.  I am blessed that I have friends that are willing to use their precious few minutes in the car alone to try to connect, or are willing to make the drive out to my house to hang out with me, or are willing to plan a lunch date two weeks from now because we want to make sure it definitely happens.

- Technology - it would be a mess trying to accomplish (or even remember!) every we do each day without technology like our smartphones, laptops, baby monitors, GPS's, etc. 

- Funny moments that break up the day - like when autocorrect ruins a romantic text I was trying to send my husband!  It's good to have a good belly laugh in the middle of a work day.  (I've especially loved the funny comments people have left on Facebook status about this happening)  He had just told me about an older couple he had observed helping each other maneuver through airport security. 

- A happy, healthy daughter - she is having so much fun these days, crawling and exploring.  I just love spending time with her, and she cracks herself up.  It is literally music to my ears to hear her giggle.  I melt EVERY time. 

And now, my prayer for the day:
Dear God, thank you for the reminder to take a minute to pause and practice gratitude.  I know well the benefits of this exercise, and can't wait to start feeling them!  Thank you for all of the many blessings You have given me, both those listed above and those known only in my heart.  I know that I am a truly blessed woman.  Help me today to look for ways to SHOW my gratitude, and if there's some way I can be of service to You and Your kids.  Amen 

Don't Buy Me A Mother's Day Present - Really!

My daughter is 7 months old, and I am basically obsessed with her. Anyone that knows me knows that I love being a mom - and I obviously write it about her adventures quite frequently here in this blog.

So, my husband was SHOCKED when I told him I didn't want a Mother's Day present.  I really, really, really don't.  This isn't a trick, this isn't a game.  I don't want one.  Actually, to be more accurate, I don't need one. 

I just had a birthday last weekend, and he went WAY over the top for it, which was fun...but now, as a mom, I am much more aware of what that money could be used to buy (i.e. diapers, clothes, day care...).  While it was super sweet that he got me an awesome Coach purse (kudos to him for picking out a good one!), and took me out to not one, but TWO birthday dinners, I was stressed out the whole time, calculating what he had spent so far.

Tuesday night, we were paying bills, and I made him look me in the eye, hear the words that I was saying and PROMISE that he wasn't going to buy me anything for Mother's Day.  Get me a card or something.  Write me a letter that tells me what a good mom I am (and hopefully, you won't have to lie!).  Or better yet, take care of the things that need to be done around the house for the entire day.  I definitely wouldn't mind having a day off!  (Not that he doesn't usually help...but to have a whole day off would be pretty awesome!)

My mother used to reply, when we asked her what she wanted for a particular holiday, with the same thing, every time:  "I just want you kids to get along."  As an adult, now, I know she actually meant that! 

Am I nuts?  Am I setting a dangerous precedent?  Will I live to regret announcing this to my husband and to you all? 

I don't care.  I don't need "stuff".  Don't get me wrong...I LIKE stuff.  I just know now that I don't need it to feel like I am appreciated or recognized.  These days, I would much rather a sweet compliment, a nice letter, or an act of kindness.  So, if my husband asks you - recommend one (or all) of those, please!  I really mean it! 

(*Note:  This doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same way.  Please consult the mothers on your list to find out if they would like presents or not.  You don't want to mess this one up.  Trust me.)

One big difference between men and women

I am very excited - S and I are getting ready to take our first trip away from the baby.  Nana is going to watch her for the weekend, and we have another couple going with us up to the mountains to rent a cabin.

Today, I was texting with Kim about the trip - and she mentioned some of the food items she is going to bring:  coffee, filters, all the ingredients to make sausage quiche for our first morning there, other breakfast goodies for the other two mornings we are there. We agreed that we would, most likely, go out for the rest of our meals. She's also bringing her cookbook, so we have options if we choose to cook any of our other meals.

Then, I got home, and saw this on the kitchen counter.

When I asked my sweet husband why he had purchased them, he said "They are snacks for this weekend."

That was the full extent of his purchases.

Chips.

For a three day weekend.

And that, my friends, is the difference between men and women.

(Alright, to be fair, S also made reservations for us to go out to eat on Sunday night, and has also mentioned that he just figured we would go out for all of our meals.  I am 1000% sure we won't starve!)

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Do you have a story like this?  What makes you REALLY notice the difference between men and women?  

How I Ruined A Sexy Moment With My Husband

As new parents, my husband and I are trying to navigate this new world and find the balance between being parents and remembering that we are still husband and wife, as well. 

Because I haven't been feeling too secure about how I look, I have asked S to be a little more obvious about his feelings towards me to help bolster my self esteem. Yes, I know it's "self" esteem - but it doesn't hurt to have your husband throw you a compliment!

So, being the good husband that he is, S has been making great attempts for the past several days.  On Sunday night, I got roses (for no reason!), and he's been making sure to give me more hugs and kisses and say nice things.  Truth be told, I have been eating it up! 

Well, last night, without meaning to do so, I ruined one of his well-intentioned attempts to have a "sexy moment". 

I was on my way to the treadmill (gotta stick with those resolutions!), and he stopped me and said "Come here for a minute..." I walked over, and he grabbed a single out of his wallet and attempted to tuck it in to the waistband of my pants. 

That's where the moment got ruined.

I was wearing my maternity stretch pants (I was going to the treadmill - I didn't think I needed to be sexy!), and so when he reached for the waistband, he had to lift my shirt higher and higher and higher.  Finally, I just grabbed the dollar bill and say "Thanks for the try, babe", and we started laughing. 

Sigh....

Maybe next time. 

At least he tried? 

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How have YOU ruined a sexy moment? 

The valuable lesson an iPhone taught me

When we were engaged, S had a work phone that he HATED, but it was free, since it was through work.  He really, really wanted an iPhone...I had one, he was jealous, and he wanted one.  When we were together, S would scroll through the apps and talk about how much he wanted one, one day.

One night, S got more serious.  He started sounding like he was really ready to make a move and go buy one.  We talked it out, and I thought I had convinced him that it would be silly to spend money on a phone when he has a free one through work.  After a few minutes, he said, "OK, we can be done talking about this...", and I felt satisfied that I had convinced him of my argument. 

Flash forward to the following day when I went to go visit him at work.  I asked him a question, and he said, "I don't know the answer to that, let me look it up on my fancy new iPhone", and whipped it off of his belt clip (another issue for another day!) to look it up.  I was shocked!  What happened?  I started arguing with him, and said, "I thought we decided you weren't going to get an iPhone, and here it is less than 12 hours later, and you got one!"  To which he responded, "No, what I SAID was that we were done TALKING about it.  I already knew I was going to get one and didn't see the point in continuing to talk about it when my mind was already made up!"   

I was furious because it was long commitment, lots of money, etc...but I learned a valuable lesson about listening more carefully and picking my fights.  Did I really care about the extra money, or was I more worried about the larger issue of us learning how to make decisions together...or was I even more worried that he was a man with his own ability to make decisions and might not always listen to what I thought was clear logic?? 

As it turns out, it was the latter - and part of what I had to learn (am still learning) is that just because he doesn't "listen" to me, doesn't make it the wrong decision and also doesn't mean that he doesn't value my opinion or love me. It also doesn't mean that we are going to go broke, that he's irresponsible with money, or that we will be always fighting about money.  I am not in charge of him, just like he's not in charge of me.  We are both adults with incomes, and up until we got together, we were both able to make completely autonomous decisions about how to spend our money - now, we were going to have to learn how to compromise, how to give and take, and how to let one another have some latitude to do the things they wanted to do with the money they earned and not let it impact our relationship negatively. 

It meant that we were two adults with different opinions, and that sometimes, it's alright to disagree. 

Sometimes.